Today is my birthday. I took the day off work and asked my mom to spend it with me. We’re going to cook dinners I can freeze and have on hand to eat when I have no desire to cook anything due to whatever chaos has occurred in my life. We’re even going to label them with point totals on the package so they are totally dummy-proof! I’m eagerly awaiting her arrival now.
Some years I enjoy reflecting on the past and other years I don’t. This year, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to. I have finally grown up. YIKES! At least in terms of my attitude about weight. I have battled the bulge since I was 8-years-old. And, the funny thing is, I wasn’t overweight back then. It was an off-handed comment from my pediatrician that set the wheels in motion. For as long as I can remember I’ve never really believed I could lose the weight I wanted. I blame my weight gain on many different “reasons” in my life. And, yes, I’ve had my fair share of particularly dark, laying-flat-on-the-bottom-of-the-barrel days. I can think back on those occurrences and they still bring tears to my eyes — but that is behind me! It’s over. I finally took on my weight for the right reason. — because I wanted to. No one was pushing me, no one was telling me what to do. Nope, I was just lying in bed one night and decided I was done. Maybe that’s the reason for my attitude now.
I’m still afraid of failure, but instead of letting the fear hold me back as in the past, I’ve turned the tables and want to slay that demon once and for all. I still don’t understand where the focus and commitment has come from, but I’m keeping it going for sure.
This week I’ve had several Non-Scale Victories (NSVs as I’ve just learned from my fellow bloggers). I passed up an office lunch, I put on a down vest (it’s freezing here) and zipped it up — then I realized I’ve never zipped it up before. I usually just zip it the first inch or two so it doesn’t flap open all day. I have chosen not to eat many things. Slowly but surely I’m seeing new thought processes come alive. I really am building a new lifestyle and way of thinking.
Today, my birthday, it’s all about the positive. Staying on track. Continuing to build my new eating habits, and most importantly, believing in myself. Would it be weird to ask for a fruit cup instead of a piece of cake when we go out to eat tonight? I think not!
What do you think about on your birthday?